#006: 3 Reasons We Fail to Reach Our Goals (and How to Fix It!)

Mind Health

#006: 3 Reasons We Fail to Reach Our Goals (and How to Fix It!)

May 5, 2021

I want you to be able to reach your goals, but it’s important to stop setting goals for your health. I’m sharing what to do instead of goal setting because focusing on your goals is one of the worst things to do. In fact, if you focus only on your goals, you may never achieve […]

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I'm Katrina!

I’m on a mission to help Christians get healthy, ditch disease, lose weight and find food freedom so you can live that abundant life you’ve been promised.

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reach your goals

I want you to be able to reach your goals, but it’s important to stop setting goals for your health.

I’m sharing what to do instead of goal setting because focusing on your goals is one of the worst things to do. In fact, if you focus only on your goals, you may never achieve them. Listen in as I explain just how to become the kind of person you want to be and how to create a system that gets you there one baby step at a time.

Listen to podcast here (or read down below)

 

What we’re talking about…
00:35 Why it’s important to stop setting goals for your life and your health.02:01 A little bit of my backstory…

04:30 “If you’re having trouble changing your habits and reaching your goals, the problem isn’t you. The problem is your system.”- James Clear

05:15 Identify the faulty systems.

06:52 Our daily health habits matter.

08:59 Focus on your identity, not the result, not the outcome. We must focus on our identity.

15:19 Second reason why we fail is that oftentimes we are so focused on the goal instead of being focused on the habits that we need in order to reach our goal.

19:10 Well, we gotta first determine one habit that casts a vote for becoming the type of person we want to become.

20:06 I want you to take baby steps. What we need instead is a step-by-step system that’s going to create positive, healthy habits that will help us to reach our goals and our dreams.

RESOURCES MENTIONED
Healthy Free Life Way Starter Kit

Atomic Habits by James Clear

 

“If working hard was all that was required to reach our goals, wouldn’t we all be successful?” -Katrina

 

Have you ever struggled to reach your goals?

Maybe you even worked really, really hard to reach your goals, but still failed? I have done that so many times, I’m embarrassed to admit it. After years and years of buying planners that promised I could achieve anything, setting goals, and failing to reach them, I learned what was wrong.

The problem wasn’t me, it was my method! I just didn’t have the right system for change.

 

What is the right system for change?

I want to share with you the right way to approach goals that leads to lasting changes. Since applying these methods to my life, I have achieved goals in my life that I never thought possible. And I have big dreams!

Maybe you, too, have goals and dreams in your life that you’ve never reached. Or maybe you’ve never even set a goal or pursued a dream in your life.

It is time to change all of that. I pray that through this blog and through my programs, that you will have the understanding, the tools, and the resources that you need to create healthy habits that last a lifetime and ultimately enable you to reach your goals and your dreams. Yes and amen.

 

It’s important to stop setting goals!

I know this sounds a little crazy, but, after all, if working hard was all that was required to reach our goals, wouldn’t we all be successful?

We know this isn’t the case. It seems counter-intuitive, but let me explain.

Goals themselves aren’t bad, but we don’t want to focus on our goals.

I learned from the book, Atomic Habits, by James Clear, why my goal-setting method was incomplete.

I could finally see the holes in my method.

I was so relieved and you will be, too, when you read these words,

“If you’re having trouble changing your habits and reaching your goals, the problem isn’t you. The problem is your system. Bad habits repeat themselves. Not because you don’t want to change, but because you have the wrong system for change.”

 

I was finally able to identify the systems that were faulty in my life.

 

I’m never going to reach my goals…

if I operate out of the wrong identity.  If I don’t believe myself to be an author that I’m not going to get that book written. If I don’t believe myself to be a healthy woman, then I’m not going to make healthy choices.

And if I don’t have the right healthy habits and systems necessary to make my dreams a reality, I’m never going to achieve them. If I don’t ensure that the habit of sleep is solid, then I’m going to wake up exhausted and I’m not going to be all that my children need me to be that day. I will likely be the opposite of a life-giving Mom!

If I don’t drink my daily allotment of water, then I’m going to suffer from:

  • low energy
  • brain fog
  • dull skin
  • long-term effects and diseases of dehydration

I definitely wouldn’t call that radiant health.

 

Our daily habits matter.

They matter for today. They matter for tomorrow and they definitely matter decades from now.

 

Reach your goals fault #1

The first reason why we fail at reaching our goals is that we don’t realize that our old IDENTITY can sabotage our new plans for change.

Focus on your identity, not the result, not the outcome.

We must focus on our identity.

 

Your behaviors and your habits are usually a reflection of your identity. Your behaviors and your habits are a reflection of who you believe yourself to be. If we don’t change identity before starting then our old identity will sabotage our new plans for change.

 

Reach your goals fault #2

The second reason why we fail at goals is that oftentimes we are so focused on the goal instead of being focused on the habits that we need in order to reach our goal.

 

Reach your goals fault #3

The third reason why we fail to reach our goals is that we underestimate the value of making small improvements on a daily basis. Too often we convince ourselves that massive success requires massive action. We think that if we need to lose a hundred pounds, it requires massive action to do so. But there’s a new way.

 

The new (right) way to reach your goals.

You may have never even considered an identity change before you set out to get healthy or lose weight. However, if your behavior of eating healthier is not in alignment with who you believe yourself to be, then it’s going to be highly unlikely that you will reach your goals.

So no matter how much you want to get healthy or no matter how much you are desperate to lose weight, if you operate from an identity of being fat or if you operate from a place of self-hate, you will never be in alignment with your goal of getting healthy.

The best motivation comes when a habit becomes part of your identity.

It’s one thing to say,

“I’m the type of person who wants to get healthy.”

 

It’s a completely different thing to say,

“Healthy is who I am.”

 

As Christians, we can take this a step further when we understand the importance of our physical bodies.
So, I want you to say this with me.

“I am a healthy, loved, holy, temple of the Most High God.”

 

And then every healthy action that we take should flow from this identity.
Listen, the goal is not to get healthy.

 

The goal is to be healthy.

And I assume that because you are reading this blog your desire is to identify as a healthy person. So listen, even if you don’t feel it, or even if you don’t look it yet, you can still identify on the inside, in your mind, as a healthy person.

 

HOW DO I CHANGE MY IDENTITY?

You first have to decide the type of person that you want to be.
So, I recommend first, in the presence of and with the guidance of God, that you must decide the type of person that you want to be. Who does God say that you are?

Ask yourself these questions:

  • What are my principles?
  • What do I value?
  • Who do I wish to become?

Because again, the goal is not to lose weight. The goal is to be healthy.

The goal is not to exercise three times a week, but to become an exerciser.

The goal is not to serve at your local shelter weekly, but to become like Christ.

The goal is not to write a book, but to become an author.

And then you say, what does that type of person do?

The author writes, say 30 minutes every day. Again, the goal is not to write the book. The goal is to become an author. Do you see the difference between them?

So then once you have identified your desired identity, you’ve got to prove your identity to your brain by taking small steps towards your identity in order to reinforce it.

Your identity will begin to emerge from those small steps. You gotta take action. You gotta do the thing and listen, sometimes that’s going to require that we gotta be it until we see it. You have to prove to your brain that you ARE who you believe you are.

And then you do it!

 

eat fruits and veggies every day= you are a healthy person
exercise three times a week= you are an exerciser

You do it enough and guess what? You become the person you wanted to be.

And then when you become an exerciser, you actually begin to do it without even fully thinking about it. It becomes who you are and you get up and you exercise. It no longer becomes a struggle.

 

Is it always easy to reach your goals?

No, it’s not always easy, but you’re an exerciser now. That is the goal. And then every healthy action you take is a vote for the type of person that you wish to become.
And if you act like a healthy person long enough, guess what? Eventually, you’re going to BE a healthy person.

It’s about progress, not perfection.

 

It’s very important to remember that during this whole process of becoming who you desire to be, that you are a work in progress and God’s not finished with you yet.

So you gotta trust the process and keep moving forward towards the goal of who you wish to become.

 

Create new habits not new goals.

How many times have you tried dieting or eating healthier, but eventually you fell off the wagon and went back to old habits? Listen, we’ve all been there, myself included.

Most of us have been led to believe that in order to achieve a goal, that we must simply set a goal and then try really, really hard to reach it. And then when we don’t reach it, when we don’t achieve that goal, it’s because we don’t have the willpower, the self-discipline, or the perseverance.

And then the voices in our heads just add to the conversation.
“If I really wanted it, then I’d achieve it.”
“I am such a failure.”

As you begin your healthy free life journey, I want you to ignore any lies in your head that are telling you that you might fail.

Take heart, dear one, because when you follow the Healthy Free Life Way and you take that body, mind, spirit approach to getting healthy, and when you couple it with developing healthy habits the right way, you will succeed.

I see it every single day. I know you will succeed. So the more that we’re learning about human behavior, we are becoming more understanding that the actions that we take every single day, they’re just simply a response to the habits that we have in our life.

To state it plainly, what you need to change is not necessarily your goals, but your systems and your habits.

 

I don’t want you to think that goals or dreams don’t matter.

They do. In fact, I recommend that you dream about who God wants you to become. I recommend that you sit down and you have a conversation with God and you prayerfully consider,

“Who do I want to be in 10 years from now?”

Get a picture of that person in your mind. And I want you to begin to make goals, too, and take action towards becoming that dream of who God gives you.

 

Dreams matter. Goals matter.

But listen, they tell us where we’re heading, but we do not need to focus on goals once we’ve set them.
James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, says,

“We do not rise to the level of our goals. We fall to the level of our habits.”

 

So how do I do that?

Well, we first determine one habit that casts a vote for becoming the type of person we want to become.

What habits do I need in order to become a healthy person? Before you make the decision as to which habit you’re going to go all-in on, you’ve got to make sure that you pick the right habit.

 

Baby steps to reach your goal.

Not giant leaps.

I know that in the past when attempting to reach a goal, like getting healthy or losing weight, I’ve believed that large giant steps are required in order to reach the destination. The problem is, we’re led to believe that the only way to cross this huge gap before us is that we need to jump.

So we go all in. We prepare, we clean out the pantry, we muster the willpower and we get a running start. The only problem is, is that we have not addressed our underlying habits nor have we addressed our identity.

What if instead of attempting to jump over that gap we built a bridge?

We need a step-by-step system that’s going to create positive, healthy habits that will help us to reach our goals and our dreams. And the good news is we don’t have to jump to the other side overnight.

All we need to do is take one small baby step at a time. That’s it.

We take a step and then another baby step and then another baby step.

 

What are baby steps?

When you think about a healthy habit that’s going to help you to reach your goals for your health, you’ve got to break it down into a baby-step habit. James Clear recommends a two-minute version of the habit you want to build.

And then master the art of showing up every day.

That two-minute habit should be the smallest version of your habit that reinforces your desired identity.

In the beginning, honestly, it is less about what you are doing and more about habit formation.

So let’s break it down.
Goal= walk 10,000 steps each day
Your focus= put on your walking shoes every day.
(baby step habit)

Goal= exercise three days a week
Your focus= put your workout clothes on three times a week
(baby step habit)
Or= just do the warmup of the exercise video

Goal= eating healthier
Your focus= eat one piece of fruit
Or= eat two bites of raw spinach with dinner

Goal= drinking 64 ounces of water
Your focus= drink eight ounces of water when I wake up in the morning
(baby step habit)

Goal= read the Bible in a year
Your focus= read one verse each morning
(baby step habit)

Do you see how there’s a difference? When we try to do too much, it’s too much for our brain. Our brain cannot change at that rate. It needs to be done in baby steps.

This way, our brain doesn’t even realize that we’re changing. It’s just happening. And then we wake up one day and we are a new creation.

What small, daily baby step habit will you go all-in on that reinforces the identity of who you want to become?

 

Remember, instead of setting desperate goals in order to…

 

Reach your goals…

You’re going to:

  • focus on your identity, not the outcome.
  • create new habits, not new goals.
  • take baby steps, not giant leaps.

I’ve created a starter kit that will give you the first five baby steps to take on your health journey. And I even have a seven-day devotional to help you reinforce your steps through scripture and prayer. So, if you would love my help, click HERE.

 

Now, let me leave you with this from 2 Peter 1:3-4,

“His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who has called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these, he has given us his very great and precious promises so that through them, you may participate in the divine nature having escaped the corruption and the world caused by evil desires.”

 

Until next time. Bye for now.

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